Jeremy Hillman’s unusual bird watching experience!
The morning session dragged on endlessly. We reached the period prior to the lunch interval. The Practical Tamil class stood before us and the interval and a solid if uninspiring meal of Kankun, Pol Sambol, Rice and if one was lucky and early enough, a chance to sample the stragglers that called themselves meat pieces (Balu Muss) which lay submerged in a sea of red curry; regular Boarding House fare in the mid-sixties.
The Practical Tamil class was always eagerly anticipated as it gave one a chance to relax, no man-eaters here. Mr Satchithanandan was the Master and no mild and gentler soul existed at STC during that era. This then was the time to soothe ones mind and rest the weary body after the traumas and stress of encountering General Mandawela (Sinhalese), Mr Karayalakulasingham (Maths), and Mr Asirvadem (History) beforehand. Surviving such a star-studded cast of teachers we felt, entitled us to a well deserved R&R period, in the PT class.
This particular day was even more special as Sami (Sami Yousoof) had brought his new Air Pistol to school. As the gentle Mr Satchithanandan droned on and on in his own inimitable style illustrating the various pronunciations of the words to us by writing them on the black board & getting us to repeat after him. Sami and I began to admire the weapon that looked at us in such an inviting manner. Unable to resist we began to cradle it in our hands like a newborn baby, marvelling at its fine workmanship. However holding onto it and observing was never going to be enough. A gun had to be used we were like a bunch of kids in the College tuck shop, where money had to be spent and food consumed. Just as we were surveying the scene outside the main block a Kondaya (a little bird) alighted on the pine tree outside the class. It was a volatile mix of circumstances, a gun, plenty of pellets, the last period before lunch and two eager minds, within a millisecond determination to act, added to the mix, and a memory was spawned.
There was no guarantee that the target would be around for more than a few seconds. Unlike us it was free to move around at its own whim, therefore speed was crucial if one was to have a shot at it. Quick as a flash Sami produced the pellets and I loaded the gun. The window by the bench needed to be adjusted. It was to serve as my shield from the Master’s eyes, while giving me a clear vision of the bird. Getting the dysfunctional window into place proved to be a challenge. Once that was done I was forced to keep one eye on the Master and train the other on the target. Finally I squeezed the trigger to no avail, the prey continued to hop around, perhaps the Kondaya knew that air guns in College was a NO NO and did not expect to be shot at. I fired again with the same result.
The scene of the crime was to the left of the building
Now that my primal instincts had been aroused, to stop was impossible. The target was proving to be a handful, why couldn’t it stay still for a few seconds?
The logistics of loading up after each shot, one eye on the bird the other on the Master was a nightmare, with each attempt caution and care were the first victims. Finally I must have fired 8 or 9 pellets with nothing to show for it.
Finally the Kondaya decided to sit still on a branch. I remember taking careful aim at the target. Every lesson taught to us at the Rifle Shooting range was rigorously followed.
I was convinced that this was to be the pellet that would count. Suddenly I felt my ear being torn out of my skull. Turning around from the window, smoking gun in hand, I looked straight into the enraged eyes of Warden Selvaratnam.Eyeballs popping he screamed at me, ”What are you doing you wretched boy?” All the time his firm grip on my ear never wavered. I had made the journey from hunter to prey in a flash! Unlike the innocent Kondaya I could not fly away! What I did not realise and my counter intelligence let me down, was that Warden Selveratnam taught Latin in the next class. One of the windows in the Latin class was right next to the window I was using in the PR class. The Warden had heard the noise and by the time the 4th shot had been expelled had managed to get a firm fix on where it was coming from. Like a flash he walked out of the Latin class into the PR class and came for my big ear!
He gave Mr Satchithanandan a questioning look and marched Sami and myself to his office at Thallassa. He had by now found out that the gun belonged to Sami. The gun was pulled away from me and so began one of the longest most painful walks I have ever had to endure in my life, as the Warden never released his hold on my ear and we had to suffer his admonishment every step of the way. To add to my misery one of the Warden’s steps equalled four of mine (or so it seemed) and if I wanted to keep my ear intact, I just had to find a way to measure up to his strides. I felt miserable, not so much for myself but for my mate poor Sami and the embarrassment it must have caused our dear Master in the PR class.
Upon reaching Thallassa, any vague assumption that the walk might have cooled the Warden’s temper was soon put to rest. The Warden’s office for most boarding house types was the scene of many canings. Sami was the first to go and he collected 4 cuts for his rather ‘passive role’ in the episode. I was given 7 cuts that was 1 more than the traditional 6 but such was the Warden’s rage on the day. We were then marched back to class and sheepishly joined the rest of the troops. The Master had my undivided attention, at least, for the next few classes. Needless to say I had lost my appetite and did not eat much for lunch that day.
Jeremy Hillman
Winchester, Miller – Chapman 1959 – 1967
The whereabouts of the confiscated gun remain a mystery? Jeremy was keen to make amends and present his mate, Sami, now domiciled in Canada an air pistol at what was to be a reunion with fellow Thomians in Canada this year. Due to Covid this regrettably was not meant to be.
We take delight in noting from this photo. that Jeremy is still looking good and intact despite his ‘earshot’ experience!
